I like to share my story with you as I believe therapist self-disclosure helps lessen power dynamics and helps to create a more human experience. 

Meet my rainbow baby, my precious lily flower. Love at first trimester, I was grateful to have the opportunity to be her mother. 

The first of the COVID shut downs happened mid of our pregnancy and I was determined to keep her out of harm’s way. I would talk to my belly and say "stay in there until COVID is over". She listened and didn't try to come out. After 3 days of labor and an emergency c-section, I held her all night.

Even with my lactation education and masters in occupational therapy under my belt, I felt nothing had prepared me well enough to feed my baby. I was in physical pain, mentally exhausted, had difficulty latching my girl, my milk had not come in, and my baby had jaundice. My triple feeding journey continued for 6 weeks and at the end of it, I was so happy to never see my pump again. I struggled at times and felt isolated in my new role as a mother and so I sought different supports.

After a rocky first 2 months, my baby girl breastfed for 22 months. My lily flower and I weaned when we were both ready. The first time we read a book about weaning she expressed her anger by throwing the book. After a month of reading the book to her, my girl took matters in her own hands, turned to me and said "mama, no more milk. " My girl began to sleep on her own at 2.5 years old (thanks to help from our sleep coach) which was when I felt like I could function again! 

Brilliant, creative and fiercely independent, my lily flower is in a rush to grow up and I try to savor the precious present moments as best as I can.